


the underground chase

by lavendori



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon - Manga, Gen, Humor, Team Bonding, Team Karasuno Zine, inspired by the imperial palace run light novel, tokyo subway system, tsukki doesn't get paid enough for this babysitting job
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21565027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavendori/pseuds/lavendori
Summary: Kei is once again tasked with the grim responsibility of babysitting two volleyball idiots.“Let’s make this quick,” he tells them in a desperate attempt to establish ground rules. “Do not forget I have no qualms about leaving you two to fend for yourselves, got it?”“Mmhmm,” Hinata nods absently as he inserts some cash for his subway pass. “Yep.”“I’m fairly certain the Tokyo train system is an intricate web more complex than your brains,” he adds as a threat for good measure.“Uh huh,” Hinata says while Kageyama grunts without sparing him a single glance. “Sure.”
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio & Tsukishima Kei, Hinata Shouyou & Tsukishima Kei, Kageyama Tobio & Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 19
Kudos: 170





	the underground chase

**Author's Note:**

> hello friends, i can finally post this!
> 
> here is my [team karasuno zine](https://twitter.com/team_karasuno) fic! it was largely inspired by the ["imperial palace run" light novel](https://tobimikesan.tumblr.com/post/169109349364/a-rather-tumultuous-imperial-palace-run) where tsukki was forced to babysit kageyama & hinata in tokyo. having had some all-too-real experiences of how complex the underground subway of tokyo is, i thought it'd be fun to torture tsukki with trying to manage kagehina as hamsters again in this context. hope you enjoy! :)

Kei should have known the moment Hinata volunteered to go to the grocery store that something suspicious had been going on.

With Christmas over and nationals coming up in a few days, the majority of the Karasuno volleyball club have decided to cram themselves together in Daichi’s new apartment in Tokyo. Kei wouldn’t have bothered coming in the first place if Yamaguchi hadn’t pointed out that it would simply be more convenient to tag along. They then discover upon arrival that Kageyama and Hinata, who had promised to be in charge of snacks, had barely brought any food to share at all.

“We didn’t want to pack it all in our luggage!” Hinata whines. “We thought it’d be more convenient to get extra once we got here!”

“We brought the important stuff first,” Kageyama explains, as though this is an adequate excuse for their mistake. “We don’t mind going out to get more.”

It’s at this time that Kei sinks into Daichi’s best armchair before anyone else snags it and, without looking up at any of them, drawls out; “Have fun.”

He knows he should be more attentive — but in all fairness, there are a lot of stupid impulses that Kei wouldn’t put past the oddball duo’s lizard brains. Eagerly offering to venture out into almost negative degree weather in Tokyo for the sake of replenishing their Christmas party’s food and drink supply could have easily been one of them. It’s not his job to fathom the inner workings of their minds. It isn’t until Ennoshita turns and gives him an expectant look that Kei realizes a little too late that he has severely miscalculated.

“Absolutely not,” Kei blurts out.

The thin line of Ennoshita’s lips curves upwards just a fraction. “I haven’t said anything yet.”

Kei groans. “Why me?”

“See for yourself.”

Kei glances around the room. Daichi, Sugawara, and Asahi are pitting strawberries while Yachi and Yamaguchi are beating eggs. Tanaka and Noya are by default out of the question.

“Rude of you to assume I’m not doing something important too,” Kei mutters, turning his gaze back to his phone.

“Are you?”

Kei looks up. Ennoshita raises his eyebrows. It’s enough for Kei to see that there’s no way he can bullshit himself out of this. 

“If it’s of any consolation,” Ennoshita adds, “we’re making strawberry shortcake. You can have the first slice once you’re back.” Kei twists his lips, feeling conflicted by this blatant display of bribery. Ennoshita is setting a great example as this year’s captain.

Over by the foyer, bundled in thick coats and scarves, Kageyama and Hinata are already putting their shoes on, looking way too happy for their own good. Kei sighs. He’s dealt with them on worse occasions. This will just be another.

With a heavy sigh, Kei gets out of his seat, grabs his coat and scarf, and approaches the two.

“Oi,” he says when he reaches them. “This time, I mean it. Once we get the food, we go back when I say we go back. Neither of you know the address to Daichi’s apartment so if you even  _ think _ about wandering off—”

“Ooh, Tsukishima! You’re coming too?”

Hinata, who already has his shoes on, is practically buzzing in the doorway with excitement. It makes Kei feel sick and he wastes no time in telling him so.

“Whatever you say,” Hinata laughs in response while Kageyama shrugs. Kei scowls. It shouldn’t come as a shock but after more than a year of spending time together, he’s well aware that his threats and insults don’t hold the same power over them anymore.

“I’m serious,” Kei reinstates after Kageyama finally finishes putting on his shoes. “Don’t go off on your own this time.”

“Aw, thanks, Tsukishima,” Hinata beams up at him. “I didn't know you cared so much.”

“It’s just more trouble for me,” Kei seethes.

“Can we get a move on already?” Kageyama gripes on his way out the door. “Stop dawdling and let’s go.”

“Coming, Impatient-yama!” Hinata yells as he bounces down the hallway towards the stairs. Together, the two of them skip ahead and sprint down the stairs towards the first floor before Kei can finish tying his shoelaces.

“Idiots,” he mumbles under his breath before finishing up and following suit.

The air is bitingly cold outside. Kei pulls his scarf up to cover more of his face, feeling increasingly disgruntled as his breathing beneath the cloth fogs up his glasses. By the time he catches up to Kageyama and Hinata, he finds them standing at the corner of an intersection, huddled together over Hinata’s phone. Everything about this is suspicious.

“I thought you said the hotel was on  _ this _ street!” Kageyama hisses as he elbows Hinata in the ribs.

“I did! This is just the first exit where we transfer, Bakageyama!”

“You’re looking at this upside down!”

“Well stop touching my phone when I’m trying to zoom in!”

“Why did I just hear the word ‘hotel’?” Kei mutters in a dangerous voice when he approaches them.

Hinata gives a loud squawk and stuffs his phone in his pocket.

“Uhh — Well — Don’t be mad, Tsukishima!” Hinata says with a nervous laugh. Kei raises an eyebrow, knowing full well that those are the exact words that precede something that  _ will _ make him mad. “We just — we wanted to maybe—”

“Team Japan is in town,” Kageyama blurts out. They both turn to look at him. “They’re going to the gymnasium for a photoshoot tonight so we were going to stop by.”

“Yep,” Hinata squeaks in confirmation.

A flash of white hot anger courses through Kei. He can almost taste the trembling torrent of insults threatening to break loose from his lips. 

“Are you two  _ insane _ ?!” he spits out, towering over them both. “You have  _ one job _ ! Did you think you could somehow sneak this past me? And even if you managed to get to the hotel, did you even consider what the chances of you actually catching a glimpse of them might be? There’s no guarantee — the chances are probably next to zero! You guys are absolute  _ morons _ !”

Kei pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m going back up. You’re on your own.”

He turns around and begins walking back towards Daichi’s apartment building.

“Okay! See you later then!” Hinata calls out.

Kei stops and looks back at them. The buoyant, carefree tone gives him pause. How can the two of them be so eager to wander the unknown streets of Tokyo without a single fear? If Kei leaves them here, there’s no way the pea-brains will make it back in one piece. And what would Ennoshita say if he returned now, empty-handed? Gritting his teeth, Kei turns back around and marches up to them.

“Give me the address,” he snarls, holding out his hand.

Hinata and Kageyama jump at his approach and shrink back, Hinata clutching his phone closer to his chest while Kageyama eyes Kei’s hand suspiciously.

“Oh, for crying out loud, I’m going to help you, you dimwits,” Kei says before reaching out and snatching Hinata’s phone out of his hands. He copies the hotel address into his own map app and scrolls through for the best subway route.

“Okay,” he breathes, trying to the last semblance of sanity. “Okay. Follow me.”

* * *

The instruction to _ follow me _ is the first out of many that gets broken. As Kei had predicted, the subway station is too crowded. It’s the holiday season right before dinner time on a Saturday night. By the time they descend the steps down into the nearest station, Kei feels even more annoyed by the sheer multitude of people milling about. Having already accepted his fate, however, he leads the two idiots straight to a ticket machine to buy a pass. He cannot believe they’ve bamboozled him into spending money on this extra, unplanned detour.

“Let’s make this quick,” he tells them in a desperate attempt to establish ground rules. “Do  _ not  _ forget I have no qualms about leaving you two to fend for yourselves, got it?”

“Mmhmm,” Hinata nods absently as he inserts some cash for his subway pass. “Yep.”

“I’m fairly certain the Tokyo train system is an intricate web more complex than your brains,” he adds as a threat for good measure.

“Uh huh,” Hinata says while Kageyama grunts without sparing him a single glance. “Sure.”

Kei narrows his eyes. He knows they probably won’t keep to their word regardless but it doesn’t stop the maddening anxiety rippling under his skin. As Kageyama finishes his purchase, Kei pulls out his phone and checks which train and platform number they need to take. 

“This way. Stick close to me.”

Hinata giggles. “Tsukishima wants us near him.”

“Or you can get lost,” Kei snaps. “The choice is yours.”

Hinata gives a squeak and claps a hand to his mouth. Judging by his shaking shoulders though, he’s still laughing silently. Kei rolls his eyes.

One by one they pass through the barrier, a sharp  _ beep _ crying out with each tap of their cards. Kei follows the signs directing to platform 3, leading them through the underground passageway and up a staircase. They’re a little more than halfway up when light music starts playing from the speakers above, signaling a train’s arrival.

“Guys! It’s here!” Hinata exclaims as the throng around them starts to quicken their pace too. “Let’s go!!”

Before Kei can stop him, he charges forward. A gust of strong wind blows past and — there goes Kageyama, too.

“Dumbass, wait up!” Kageyama yells, racing after Hinata.

“Oi!” Kei hurries forward, using his long legs to skip three steps at a time. Once he reaches the top of the stairs, his eyes shift up to the sign attached to the ceiling and dread fills his stomach.

“Oi!” he calls out again. He has a bad feeling about this. “That’s not the right train!”

But Hinata and Kageyama have already squeezed through the sea of people and piled themselves into a car.

“Get —” he shoulders past an older man, glasses knocking askew, “back —” he grits his teeth and slips through a couple waiting in line—

The doors slide close and the train starts to move, with Hinata and Kageyama staring innocently at him from inside their well-lit car as they fly by.

_ —here… _

As the train disappears into the tunnel, Kei slaps a palm to his face. He really ought to be getting paid for this. He allows himself a few moments of silent grief before pulling out his phone. He’s so incensed, his fingers shake as they type.

_ Get off on the next stop or so help me I will leave you two out here to die. _

Before the text can fully go through, a notification drops in from Hinata.

_ let’s just meet there! we have a map too! _

Kei groans. Why can’t the two idiots just stay in one place?

The train they meant to take slows to a stop now. With the air of a man who has given up all hope, Kei steps onto it and resigns himself to the worst. As the train starts to move, an idea pops into Kei’s head. Pulling his phone back out, he checks Hinata’s and Kageyama’s contacts. As expected of two careless people who have very little understanding of privacy and security, neither of them have their location share turned off. Kei sifts through his phone apps until he can pull up an underground map of Tokyo for reference.

_ Okay… okay. He can figure this out. _

* * *

It takes nearly an hour to finally set Hinata and Kageyama on the right track, by the end of which Kei is truly at his limit. 

Predictably, the two of them manage to get themselves separated, a feat only the truly amazing and stupid can achieve. Not ten minutes into Kei’s ride, he receives a text from Hinata informing him that he’s lost Kageyama, who is the only one out of the two of them with the address on his phone.

_ so how do i get there? _ Hinata appends to the end of the message.

_ I’m glad you asked, _ Kei sends back, sarcasm dripping through his fingers.

It’s a nightmare. Tokyo’s underground train system is a beast to be reckoned with. He will never fathom how Kageyama managed to travel all the way up to Ikebukuro, but it’s not his job to try and understand. Every time Kei sends an order for them to make a transfer, his stomach pinches in fear. Their abysmal attention span and penchant for wandering is far beyond his or anyone’s control.

Once Kei reaches the final stop for their destination, he sits up against a wall and continues to monitor their movements. In the next fifteen minutes, Kei suffers through a series of more blips and setbacks. Hinata gets distracted by a view of the skytree through the window. Kageyama gets stuck trying to transfer because he runs out of cash on his card. Both of them misread signs. It’s a headache to undo the mess they’ve started until at long last, the two of them make it to the final stop. Kei watches their dots move toward him, a mixture of relief, annoyance, and exasperation washing over him. Stuffing his phone back into his pocket, he waits.

* * *

“Whaaaaaat? You saw them?!”

“Here? In the subway stop?”

“Yep. Passed right through.”

“Wah! So unfair!!!”

“That pisses me off!”

Kei smirks. They are too easy to provoke. Like a professional team would ever need to travel around by public transit.

“What were they like? Did you make out who the middle blocker was? Why didn’t you  _ tell _ us?!”

“What good would that have done?” he asks sardonically. “Maybe if you two hadn’t run off on your own and gotten yourselves lost, then you would’ve been here on time.”

“Waahhh… this is the worst!”

“Did you see their setter?” Kageyama interrogates. “Did you get their autographs? Anything?”

Kei wrinkles his nose in disgust. “Do I look like an airheaded fanboy to you?”

They stare at him blankly, clearly unaware that they’d just been insulted. Hinata blinks a few times, then plows on.

“Well did you take any pictures at least?!” he demands.

Kei scoffs. “What do you think?”

Hinata lets out a roar of frustration, causing several passersby to turn and glare at them. His eyes are lit up and he looks ready to dive back over the ticket barrier, determined to hunt Team Japan down.

“It’s too bad,” Kei continues airily. “They’re probably at their own destination by now. No use chasing them down. Also, I know we don’t have enough cash for more than our return trip back to Daichi’s.”

Hinata looks longingly at the ticket barrier for a long moment and sighs. “Fine,” he says, deflated. “Let’s just go to the store.”

It takes a bit more convincing to get Kageyama to give up and come along, but eventually, the two follow Kei as he leads them out of the station. They walk for a few minutes out in the streets, neither of them questioning the direction he’s taking them. Eventually, he pulls them around the corner of a tall building and stops.

“I don’t see a grocery store here,” Hinata points out.

“That’s because we aren’t at one, you idiot,” Kei says. “Look.”

He points towards the front entrance of the building they’re stopped at. If his calculations from his quick internet search earlier are correct, it should be happening any time now.

“Oi! What are we supposed to be…” Kageyama squints through the glass windows at a well lit lobby. Inside, an elevator opens up its doors and a group of men emerge from within, filing out together towards the exit Kei had pointed at. “Is that—?”

“Team Japan!” Hinata gasps, jumping onto Kageyama’s back immediately for a better look.

“Ow! Get off, dumbass, I can’t see!”

“But, Tsukishima, you said—”

“I lied,” he says simply.

Hinata yelps as Kageyama finally throws him off. He recovers quickly however, and the two of them start bouncing around as they shout about what to do next.

“Oi, don’t harass them!” Kei scolds as they start moving towards the hotel entrance. “You’ll make a big scene!”

But like any other time Kei tries to corral these wild beasts into behaving appropriately, Hinata and Kageyama ignore him as they surge forward, eager to greet the team.

* * *

“Sheesh, what took you guys so long?”

Kei idles by the door, still taking his shoes off as Tanaka rushes forward to take the shopping bags out of their hands. Hinata is practically bouncing in his spot as they make their way into the living room.

“We saw Team Japan!” He announces, pulling out a sheet of paper with their autographs and holding it up for them to see. There’s a collective breakout of gasps and shouts of excitement. Nishinoya pounces on them immediately while Suga chides them in a tone that’s both exasperated and impressed.

When Kei steps out of the foyer, Ennoshita corners him in the hallway, his half-lidded gaze stony and wooden as ever, save for the ghost of a smirk on his lips.

“You will receive an invoice from me in a week,” Kei drones. “I expect payment in thirty days.”

“Will this suffice?”

From behind his back, Ennoshita procures a platter with a graciously large slice of strawberry shortcake sitting on it. It’s a beautiful slice. The fruits line the middle section, sandwiched neatly between two layers of sponge and gorgeous, snow-white cream. Kei’s mouth starts to water as he eyes the biggest strawberry of them all, glazed in red syrup and sitting in all its glory on an ivory bedding of icing. Its surface glitters beneath the hallway light, so dazzling and bright, he can’t find the strength within him to pretend to be mad.

“Yeah,” Kei replies, voice cracking as Ennoshita passes the plate into his hands with a smirk. “That’ll do.”

**Author's Note:**

> as always, if you would like to come say hello or scream about hq with me, i can be found on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lavendori) and/or [tumblr](https://lavendori.tumblr.com)!


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